it's more than just dancing

Saturday, April 3, 2010

title:{my ah gong}

it all began on the 14th march when my dad made his weekly call to my grandpa in sabah. my dad said that grandpa complained that he is weak. but he has actually been quite weak for a few months already. on the 22nd march, we received a call from ka che at around 9.15pm. i didn't know what was the content of their conversation. the next morning when i woke up, mum told me that grandpa was in the hospital. (i only knew much later from ka che that grandpa was trembling all over and having a high fever on that night). i was worried and scared. dad said ah gong may not last to qing ming.

a couple of days later, da pak phoned to say that ah gong is feeling much better now. we heaved a sigh of relief. on 26th march, ah gong became weak again. dad booked a flight for 27th to visit ah gong. yet, on the 27th morning, da pak phoned to say that the doc said that it's within these 2 days. words cannot describe how i feel at that time. i knew how accurate docs are about this stuff. it happened with gu che as well.

that evening, dad flew back and i went for council campfire to relax and not to think too much. as happy as i may seem, i was extremely afraid. on the way home from council campfire, i received a text from bro: dad said that ah gong just passed away. it wasn't unexpected, frankly. but i didn't read the text at that moment. two mins later after the text was received, i reached home and my mum called out to me from downstairs and told me the news. so how, on the way home, i kinda knew that it would happen the min i reached home. it was like a dejavu.

i was depressed. but i was in such a state of shock that i appear to be extremely calm. mum said to wait for dad's call tmr morning to find out about the arrangements. that night, i texted gong and belle. belle called to check on me but i was fine. at that moment, i didn't know if it was because the fact has yet to sunk in to my brain or was it because i knew it was about to happen. actually, for a century old man, it is impossible to not have thought of what it's like when he's not around anymore. i teared a little and went to bed.

the next morning, my mum and i went out for breakfast as usual. dad called to say that we would go back that evening. we went home immediately to book the air tickets, but because it was within 24 hours before the flight, we had to purchase our tickets over the sales counter. we rushed back home to pack our luggage, after much confusion through numerous phone calls, we finally knew what the attire was gonna be like and what to pack. we boarded the plane in the evening and left for sabah.

dad picked us up at the airport and we went for dinner. dad told us about what happened when ah gong passed away. dad was lucky to see ah gong for the last time. dad told me that ah gong just stopped breathing. we went to the funeral parlour where wakes were held. we went to 拜 ah gong and i expected to see ah gong in the coffin but actually he was in a fridge. (kudos to technology) when i saw ah gong lying in the fridge, i was extremely upset. just 6 weeks ago, i went back to sabah for cny and now i'm back again for a funeral.

we went back to san pak's house and i told mummy how i felt. then tears just started to roll uncontrollably and i kinda cried through the night. at that time, how i wish someone was by my side to comfort me. the next morning, we went straight to the funeral parlour to change shifts with yi kor. we stayed there the entire day to 折金银纸. when i told dad that i cried till my pillow was damp, dad asked why and said that i shouldn't cry. after all, it is a 喜丧.

we stayed at the funeral parlour for another 2 days. basically we reached there every morning at 7 plus and leave at 11 plus at night. 罗德明, being 94, came to the wake and teared. it was extremely touching. kwong hin employees came as well and even past employees who have worked for ah gong. ah gong actually received 24 big bags of 金银纸 and 花圈. he must be so rich now! we were most probably the noisiest wake at the parlour. we were like party-ing and laughing while we were there. on the 4th night, we burnt a house, a car along with many other stuff for ah gong. on the 5th day, ah gong 出殡. that morning, we reached the funeral parlour at 6 plus to prepare ourselves. all of us had to wear white top and dark pants as ah gong 系一百有余岁. unlike the others who wear blue shirts. it started with us 上孝 and we had a red cloth tied around our waist to signify that ah gong died at the age of 100 which is extremely rare.

we went back to the hall and stood according to 辈份. then we had to 迎接棺材. after which, we had rituals for ah gong and we walked around the coffin for 8 times. when the 道士 was doing his job, all i thought about were my memories with ah gong. mum already started crying. after walking 8 rounds, we were supposed to say our last words to ah gong before they nail the coffin. besides the 4 brothers, i guessed the rest of the family cried. (maybe samantha didn't? i'm not too sure about that) we cried till the workers need to bring us small towels to wipe our tears. i'll never forget this moment in my life. i am proud and honored to be ah gong's grand-daughter.

after all the rituals and thanks to all the condolences received, we went to 富贵山庄 where ah gong was buried. we were told to threw some earth before the workers bury him. that was the last time i'll ever see ah gong. we went to hyatt for lunch as 解会酒.

on fri morning for ah gong's 头七, we went to nirvana memorial park to 拜 ah gong. then da pak niang said that peter kao fu dreamt of ah gong, ah po and gu che coming back home. we were all glad that he found ah po and gu che. and when the ashes flew exceptionally high without any aid of the wind, ah kim said that it meant that ah gong is happy. and i'm very happy for him. (we burnt so much $$ that yi kor said that the only problem they may have down there is inflation!)

so yup, i came back today and that marks the end of my trip. although i was supposed to visit ah po this year, we couldn't because there will be a clash. and next few years, i wouldn't be around during april. maybe we should wait for a few more years so that i can go back to our ancestral home at 中山. i am actually very glad that i came from a family with rich traditional background. it's like how many people would actually know what generation they belong to in their entire clan? but i do. and how many people actually have an ancestral home from their very origin? but i do.

i am extremely proud of what my ancestors have done especially my ah gong and i wish him happiness down there with ah po, gu che, gu po, yi sok gong, san sok gong and his friends.

PS i'm posting this because i don't ever want to delete this from my memory.

10:08 PM;